20 November 2009
Be the Bigger Person
If there's anything harder in an argument than to say, "you're right"...please, let me know. It comes down to wondering if you want it to get uglier or do you just want to get to the situation at hand and fix it. When the other person is so fixed in their rage that all they do is attack, attack, attack, try changing their response by giving them one they won't be expecting. "Kill them with kindness" so to speak. Responding to personal cuts with more personal cuts only makes the fire hotter...instead of, "well your mom is a @#$%^" try, I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way...You aren't saying sorry for being wrong, you're saying sorry for not understanding. Being the bigger person is the most difficult thing to do in an argument...you may feel like its a show of weekness, but in the long run, you've just saved your relationship by humbling yourself which is a major STRENGTH!
10 November 2009
Argument or WAR?
When I met my current husband, I asked my self if I was willing to walk through hell for this man. But I feel that the more important question was, do I know in my heart that this man will walk through hell for me? What good is a relationship if you feel that you're not loved by the other person?
One of the things that I've learned in my marriages is that if you're BOTH willing to endure the trials TOGETHER then there's nothing that can stand in your way. And with God on your side ANYTHING is possible.
A relationship wouldn't be the same without conflict. The way you resolve these conflicts can make a big impact on your future in the relationship. An important thing to remember is that you love this person so you don't want to hurt them. Another thing is that arguing to rub it in the other person's face isn't going to help the conflict. Arguments shouldn't be treated as a WAR but instead as a discussion to resolve conflict. The key to a good and productive argument is RESPECT. Listen to your partner and kindly let them know your point of view. NEVER make big decisions when you're angry. Talk it through...COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...did you get that???
One of the things that I've learned in my marriages is that if you're BOTH willing to endure the trials TOGETHER then there's nothing that can stand in your way. And with God on your side ANYTHING is possible.
A relationship wouldn't be the same without conflict. The way you resolve these conflicts can make a big impact on your future in the relationship. An important thing to remember is that you love this person so you don't want to hurt them. Another thing is that arguing to rub it in the other person's face isn't going to help the conflict. Arguments shouldn't be treated as a WAR but instead as a discussion to resolve conflict. The key to a good and productive argument is RESPECT. Listen to your partner and kindly let them know your point of view. NEVER make big decisions when you're angry. Talk it through...COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...did you get that???
Life after the "D" word
After my ex left I decided to give myself some time to "mourn". I knew that if I got all my crying and anger out at once, when I did start dating again it would be because I was ready to move on. Not because I wanted to get back at my ex.
I started dating again about 4 months later. It was confusing and exciting at the same time. Of course it was new and scary, but I knew I wanted the experience. I dated a lot of different guys to get a feel of what I really wanted in a significant other. I dated so much, my family started joking around asking me what the "flavor of the month" was. While dating, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want a significant other. I was okay with dating with no long term commitments. I wasn't looking for a husband or a "baby daddy" I just wanted "arm candy" hahaha.
I didn't expect to meet someone who would change my life and my view on men, but I did and it's been great.
There is life after the D word, and for some it's a better one. I'm not saying that the grass is greener on the other side. I'm saying that when someone leaves you, it's not the end of the world.
I started dating again about 4 months later. It was confusing and exciting at the same time. Of course it was new and scary, but I knew I wanted the experience. I dated a lot of different guys to get a feel of what I really wanted in a significant other. I dated so much, my family started joking around asking me what the "flavor of the month" was. While dating, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want a significant other. I was okay with dating with no long term commitments. I wasn't looking for a husband or a "baby daddy" I just wanted "arm candy" hahaha.
I didn't expect to meet someone who would change my life and my view on men, but I did and it's been great.
There is life after the D word, and for some it's a better one. I'm not saying that the grass is greener on the other side. I'm saying that when someone leaves you, it's not the end of the world.
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